


Madness

by Chummy



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira dealing with his crush on Akechi, Atlus let me date akechi, Crushes, Daydreaming, M/M, and vice versa, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 01:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chummy/pseuds/Chummy
Summary: Akira knew that, knew how temptingly out of reach Goro Akechi was. Knew how if he managed to reach him, he’d lose a couple fingers. Knew Akechi was lined with caution tape and still, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.He felt like he was losing his mind.





	Madness

**Author's Note:**

> You know how Akechi uses his power on himself to make him go batshit crazy? Well.   
Basically my take on how crushing on someone makes you go absolutely insane. ya brain just dont work right no more cause you want someone to hold your hand.   
Inspired by the song "Losing My Mind" which is what this was originally titled but this fits my edgelord aesthetic more.

Falling in love wouldn’t usually be called insanity, or madness, but in the case of Akira kurusu, it certainly wasn’t sane. 

Akira knew that, knew how temptingly out of reach Goro Akechi was. Knew how if he managed to reach him, he’d lose a couple fingers. Knew Akechi was lined with caution tape and still, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

He felt like he was losing his mind. 

It started small, as all crushes. A passing realization of how cute his laugh sounds and it’s all downhill from there. 

Random thoughts snowballing into vivid daydreams during any lull of conversation or particularly boring class. 

Remembering how the dim light of the cafe dances on Akechi’s hair, the faint touch of smooth leather by accidental brush, the roundness and false honesty his pretty brown eyes held. 

His thoughts ran rampant, constant, increasing in detail with every interaction.

Akira wondered if his friends could tell. He wasn’t much of a talker in the first place. But Ryuji has had to snap his fingers in front of Akira's face far to many times in the last week to count. 

He tell him he’s just thinking. 

Never about what. 

He felt a little bad about it sure, but he really wasn’t interested in the squabbling going on between Ann and Ryuji. Choosing instead to remember the strategy Akechi used to beat him at chess the other day, and how Akechi's swelling pride seemed to fill up the room.

Almost suffocating. 

Akira didn’t mind one bit.

How could he? When Akechi’s eyes flashed, fiery and bold, the smile at his lips genuine, the rush of winning making him glow. 

His days started to begin and end with his mind filled with Akechi. 

Groggy train rides spent with minutes flying by on the wings of the idea of holding Akechi’s hand. He thought about what his hands would look like under the gloves, he didn’t pay attention in class that day. 

Afternoons at the flower shop, wondering if Akechi liked flowers, and if he did what was his favorite? Absentmindedly making bouquets not noticing the thorns pricking his finger. 

Homework becoming more of a chore. Study group sessions of staring at the blank page, thinking if Akechi is studying as well. He’d probably be very helpful in their study group, he validated his thoughts. He was totally not focusing on the idea of being pressed together in their tiny booth, hands brushing to many times for pencils, heads close together to better hear explanations. 

He was trying to pass his exams after all.

His day filled with Akechi’s name and voice ringing in his head would be fine. Welcomed even. It was.

Until days turned to sleepless nights.

It’s easy to forget in the daytime, in the visits they share, in the way time seems to stop just for them. The day tints their world rose pink, along with their cheeks when caught staring. 

Night brings Akechi’s voice as well, vindictive, conniving. Voice dripping with poisonous mirth and pride as he speaks about murdering Akira.

In the dark, he tries to reason, to understand. Wracked his brain for a reason  _ why _ , and a way to stop it. In the dark he indulges himself in the fantasy of saving Goro Akechi and as the sun rises he works to make it real. 

Some days he does nothing. Nothing but think, reminisce and replay. 

Unmoving in his bed, afternoon sun behind the drawn windows, he imagines the warmth of Akechi next to him, feels the soft locks of golden hair across his neck, a gloveless hand in his own. 

He replayed moments they shared, moments that felt real, a crack in the well crafted facade of the genius detective.

Moments where Akechi laughed, hand over his mouth and eyes closed, shoulders shaking from it. More vividly he remembers the moments after that, the soft opening of his eyes, joy still shining through and traces, fragments, of something that just might be… 

Moments where Akechi stood too close to him, enough to recognize his cologne. The way he leaned towards him, the lowering of his voice to speak  _ only  _ to Akira. 

The shining moment. 

A memory that makes his stomach flip recalling, perhaps proof of, something, that might just be. 

It had started with a game. Pawns and kings set up quick and stolen just as fast. Invigorating watching Akechi ponder his next move and thinking of his countermeasures. 

Akira also had his own countermeasures brewing. 

Granted, Akechi’s were more game strategy based. 

“Well pretty boy I think I might have you beat this time.” Head leaned on his hand, said with a confidence he didn’t have.

Damn was it worth it for the flush that rose on Akechi’s cheeks.

“I don’t see why you’re getting cocky, you haven’t even called check once.” Akechi bit back, lacking the bite as he didn’t meet Akira's eyes and hands fidgeted on a rook. 

“Just putting it out there, manifesting it with the universe.” He said, smiling at the chuckle and eye roll he received. 

“Truly a winning strategy,” words punctuated with the soft tap of a moving piece. “Check.” 

Akechi was smug, leaning over the board slightly, but the smile was soft and eyes challenging in a way Akira had never seen.

Akira moved his king and body closer too. 

Akechi only smiled again, reaching across to move his piece.

“Check.” 

They were closer now, both leaning over the counter, Akechi’s hand laying close to Akira’s elbow and growing pile of chess pieces. 

He studied the board, realized he had two moves until he lost, and tilted his head closer to Akechi.

He was playing a different game now.

Maybe Akechi realized, the exact moment Akira threw away his win, but he didn’t say, only capturing his king, a whispered “Checkmate” close enough Akira felt the ghost of his breath on his cheek. 

They were very much in each other’s space, Akira could see the faint colorings of freckles on Akechi’s nose and it took everything in him not to _die_ right there. 

“Guess the universe let me down.” Akira shrugged, slow smile on his lips, enjoying the space, or lack thereof. 

Akechi wasn’t moving away, and Akira’s nerves were alight. 

“Hm yeah.” The answer was distracted, a placeholder for conversation. 

Akira looked up to see Akechi’s eyes glancing above his glasses and down to the bow of his lips. 

It felt like he had caught fire. 

He could see the same spark in Akechi's eye, telling, showing of something, something that is  _ more _ .

In his daydreams he kissed Akechi, breathless and with all he was. 

The memory sweet and solid, more than a crack in the mask he wore. Akira knew, like he knew his own name, that wasn’t Goro Akechi playing his games. 

Proof of more.

Akira lovingly daydreamed about his soon to be attempted murderer, he couldn’t help himself, he felt like he was losing his mind. 

And yet, he didn’t mind it. 

Either way he thought of him, day after day, sleepless night after sleepless night, and he knew Akechi thought of him too. 

He knew was falling in love with Goro Akechi. A boy who would soon take his life, a boy made of guarded smiles and words, a boy of fire, of grace, of  _ care _ . If that is to be considered insanity, madness, loss of sense.

He’d gladly lose his mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like 4 am, tears in my eyes, I miss Goro so much. Atlus pls let him fucking live. Hope u enjoyed!


End file.
